youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
