Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
