just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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