another moral hangover. fuck.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
