So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
