Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
