Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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