Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.

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(650): View more from California

Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

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(919): View more from North Carolina

For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out

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(313): View more from Michigan

Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into

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(540): View more from Virginia

the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions

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(256): View more from Alabama

We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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(301): View more from Maryland

If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood

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