At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
