Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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