TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Watching her eat just hurts me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize