If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
