is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's the barista slut.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
