If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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