My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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