Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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