Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
