Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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