oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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