i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
