At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
