And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
