Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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