I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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