do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
