Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
