Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
