I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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