Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It was confusing and full of hummus
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
