Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
