i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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