She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
