wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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