I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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