WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
