i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
