Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you had me at cake vodka
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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