her vagine was all disorganized.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
