wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
then he tried to convert me to islam
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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