she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
