at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The air was thick with penises
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
