Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
