Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
