Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize