I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
