Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
