So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
