i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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