Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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