that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
