I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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