youre lurking in front of me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
