super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
