Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
