so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize