Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
